Not All Fun and Games

Today didn't contribute much to my confidence as a father. My four-month old boy fussed and spit up constantly and nothing would comfort him. It was the first such day I've had with him, and definitely the most trying. I ended the day mentally spent and marinated by the contents of his tiny stomach, which actually didn't seem so tiny when it decided to shower my shirt with curdled ejecta. It's like I have Mt. St. Helens for a son.

My wife chalks it up to "growing pains," or babyhood. I chalk it up to hot molten magma in my son's inner core, a diagnosis slightly consistent with my suspicion that he is the Terminator (see previous posting). I'll be keeping an eye on this little fellow, watching for signs that he's trying to travel back in time to kill the future leader of the post-apocalypse resistance. You never know--kids do the darndest things these days, like snowboarding.

On the other hand, the fussiness might truly be due to babyhood. Which I can sort of relate to--I must be going through something similar, as occasionally I find myself so overwhelmed by parenthood that I just want to cry and let it all out. I'll bet that's how a lot of new parents feel. What Babies-R-Expensive™ should carry is a mobile that exhausted fathers can hang from the couch and just stare at as they lie there and drool themselves to sleep. The mobile, of course, would be a slowly rotating whirl of beer bottles set to the tune of Steppenwolf's "Magic Carpet Ride." That would be really cool.

Dreft will remove the day from my shirt, but only experience and time will remove the day from my psyche. It's said that when your baby gets older, you only remember the good stuff of his younger days. The constant crying, screaming, and spitting up--you don't remember those things so much (fortunately, I will because we have them all on home video). But today left an imprint on me that will take some effort to shake. It doesn't mean I love my son any less; it's merely a reminder that though I'm a daddy, I'm just a tired guy doing the best he can.

At least I'm not the future leader of the post-apocalypse resistance. Because that would be really awkward.